The ultimate guide to negotiating

Negotiation is a skill. Not a personality trait.  

When was the last time you pushed back on your internet bill? Asked for a better deal on Facebook Marketplace? Or worked out a fair way to split costs with your housemates? 

If even thinking about negotiating makes your palms sweat, you’re not alone. Research consistently shows women are far less comfortable talking about money – let alone asking for more. 

That discomfort isn’t accidental. For generations, women have been told that talking about money is ‘unladylike’, awkward, or somehow unattractive. Historically, we’ve been encouraged to be grateful, flexible, and quiet – not confident or assertive. 

Although changes are taking place, media sometimes still portrays women as irresponsible spenders who need to ‘rein it in’, while men are encouraged to ‘play the game’ and ‘go hard’. Same topic. Very different permission. 

At Verve, we call BS on all of that. 

Negotiation isn’t about being aggressive or pushy. It’s about knowing your worth, understanding your options, and backing yourself. And yes, it’s a skill. Which means it can be learned, practised and mastered. 

That’s why we created this guide. Here, you’ll find practical tips, real-world examples, and ready-to-use scripts to help you negotiate everything from bills and rent to insurance and big life decisions. 

You don’t need to love negotiating. You just need to stop opting out of it. 

You don’t need to channel a slick salesperson to negotiate well. The strongest negotiations are grounded, calm and clear. Start with what feels authentic to you – then lean on these rules. 

1. Negotiation isn’t rude 
This isn’t about being inconsiderate. It’s about removing unnecessary guilt. In many cultures, negotiating is normal; even social. It’s not rude, awkward or selfish. It’s expected, and even fun. This is the right attitude to bring to any negotiation. In many cases, the other party wants a deal too. 

2. Know exactly what you want 
‘Something better’ isn’t really a strategy – just a reliable way to weaken your position. Go in knowing your number, your non-negotiables, and where you’re willing to flex. 

3. Expect to be taken seriously 

High expectations typically lead to better outcomes. Ask for what you want and expect to be taken seriously. You don’t get what you don’t ask for. This doesn’t mean being unrealistic. It means not pre-emptively negotiating against yourself. 

4. Go first 
Making the first offer sets the tone. Anchors matter. Going first often works in your favour – even if it feels uncomfortable. Research consistently shows that the final price is typically higher when the seller makes the first offer, while the buyer’s first offer sets a low anchor. (If you’re asking for a pay rise, you’re the seller.) 

5. Avoid ranges 
Ballparks also anchor low. If you say ‘somewhere between X and Y’, they’re gonna push for X. If you don’t have enough information to quote a figure, say so – and keep asking questions. 

6. Make friends with silence 
Nervous people tend to talk a lot and may miss some cues. Let silence be your friend. Pause. Breathe. Count to five. To fill the silence, the other person may start talking, revealing useful information. 

7. Trade, don’t concede 
Every concession should be exchanged for something. Whether you’re buying, selling or negotiating your salary, flexibility without return just weakens your position. Example: If your employer can’t pay what you want, can you agree a slight reduction in hours? 

8. Use time strategically 
Don’t rush it. A negotiation is an investment in time, and people don’t want to lose their investments. Time invested increases commitment – and improves outcomes. 

9. Question face value 
Don’t take statements at face value. Phrases like ‘I can’t do better’ are often a position, not a final outcome. Listen closely and ask questions to understand what’s really flexible.

10. Play the long game 
Strong relationships matter. Take, but don’t take too much. You want to build a positive relationship. A no today doesn’t mean no forever. 

Phone bills. Internet plans. Energy rates. Gym memberships. If you haven’t reviewed yours lately, there’s a good chance you’re overpaying. 

Service providers rely on inertia. They assume you’ll keep paying without question, even when prices creep up quietly. But here’s the thing: they want to keep you. That gives you leverage. 

Before you jump in, know what you’re paying, what plan you’re on, and how long you’ve been a customer. Grab your customer number, ID, login and anything else you might need.  

Compare providers. Screenshot deals. Bring receipts (literally). Having cold hard figures from their competitors can encourage provides to match them.  

Yes, it’s awkward. Do it anyway. They speak to hundreds of customers like you every week. This is their job – and your money. So grab a cup of tea, keep this script to hand and go for it.  

• ‘I’ve been a customer for X years and I’m reviewing my plan. What can you do to improve it?’ 

• ‘I’ve found a better deal elsewhere. Can you match or beat it?’ 

• ‘If not, I’m prepared to switch.’ 

• What flexibility do you have on price or fees? 

• Is that the best you can do today? Should I check back later? 

• Are there any offers available that are not advertised? 

• Please send details in writing. 

• I need time to compare this properly. 

• Can you confirm your name and the best way to follow this up when I am ready? 

No pressure to decide on the spot. It’s ok to ask for time while you write down notes. 

If they won’t meet you where you need to be, walking away is still a decision you control, and often the right one. Reviewing your arrangements once a year helps ensure you’re comfortable with the deal you have.  

Rent increases are stressful, especially in a tight market. But before you accept one, check your rights. The rules vary by state and lease type, and landlords don’t always volunteer that information. So here’s the lowdown.  

Lease type: Fixed term of 2 years or more 
Rent rise rules: Once in any 12-month period. 

Lease type: Fixed term of less than 2 years 
Rent rise rules: Check your agreement to see if there is a clause allowing increases. Plus, your landlord must give you at least 60 days written notice. 

Lease type: Periodic (ongoing) 
Rent rise rules: Once in any 12-month period. 

Lease type: All tenancies
Rent rise rules: Once per 12 months (with at least 8 weeks’ written notice), and by no more than 10%. 

Lease type: Fixed term
Rent rise rules: Can’t be increased unless this is listed in your tenancy agreement (but it must remain unchanged for the first 12 months of the lease). 

Lease type: Periodic (ongoing) 
Rent rise rules: Once every 12 months (with two months’ written notice). 

Lease type: All lease types
Rent rise rules: Once per 12 months (with 90 days written notice). 

Lease type: Fixed term or periodic (ongoing)
Rent rise rules: Once per 6 months (with 30 days written notice) if written into rental agreement.  

Lease type: Fixed term
Rent rise rules: Once per 12 months (with 60 days notice), only if listed in tenancy agreement. 

Lease type: Periodic (ongoing) 
Rent rise rules: Once per 12 months (with 60 days notice) 

Lease type: All lease types
Rent rise rules: Once per 12 months (only if clearly stated in tenancy agreement) usually with 60 days written notice. 

Lease type: Fixed term
Rent rise rules: No increase for 12 months after the start date. 

Lease type: Periodic (ongoing) 
Rent rise rules: Once per 12 months (with 60 days written notice). 

If an increase feels excessive, negotiation is worth attempting. Research similar rentals. Document the condition of the property. List any past increases. Know your number. 

Landlords want stability. Vacancy costs money. You can (and should) use that reality in your favour. 

Check out these scenarios, to power up your case with your landlord.  

Scenario A: You don’t reach a compromise and leave the property  

Your landlord wants to increase your rent by $50 per week, from $650 to $700. You try to get this down to $20 per week, but your landlord won’t budge. So you end your lease and move out. Now, let’s say that property is vacant for six weeks until the next tenants move in. That equals $4,200 in lost rental income for the landlord – plus they may also have to pay for necessary maintenance and inspections. All in all, they end up losing.  

Scenario B: You do reach a compromise, and remain as tenant  

Your landlord wants to increase your rent by $50 per week, from $650 to $700. You try to get this down to $20 per week, and your landlord agrees. You sign another 12-month lease at a new rate of $670 per week. Your landlord has just saved around $4,200 in vacancy costs and is now making an extra $1,040 per year in rental income.  

Ready to score the keys to your next home? Buying a home is one of the biggest financial negotiations you’ll ever make. Understanding the process – auctions vs private treaty – gives you power before you even make an offer. 

Private treaty often gives buyers more time, flexibility and control. Preparation matters more than bravado here. 

Research comparable sales. Get pre-approval. Put everything in writing. Trust your gut over pressure tactics. 

In a nutshell, homes in Australia are sold in one of two ways:  

• At auction: The seller lists a reserve (minimum) price and the bids start from there. The highest bidder wins, and needs to pay a deposit (5-10% of the purchase price) once they win.  

• By private treaty: The seller sets a price they want (though they don’t always share it) and buyers are invited to negotiate and make offers. This is less hectic as negotiations happen on your own timeline and terms, not all in 30 minutes. You also benefit from a cooling-off period – though being prepared to sacrifice that can give you a competitive advantage.  

Get yourself in the best position by:  

• Doing your research. Get to know the local market and base your offer off comparable recent sales. Set a price limit for yourself.  

• Get pre-approval sorted. You’ll know your budget limit and how much you’ll be paying each month. Avoid maxing out – you’re likely to face extra fees and expenses to cover over time.  

• Get everything in writing. Put your offer in writing so there’s no confusion with agents or sellers.  

If you are looking at purchasing a property, you may want to understand more about the First Home Super Saver Scheme that helps first home buyers to save through their super. 

Loyalty doesn’t pay — literally. The ‘loyalty tax’ is a thing – insurers rely on you not shopping around to slowly put your premiums up.  

Reviewing your cover regularly can save serious money. 

Negotiation isn’t just about price. You can adjust excesses, coverage levels and payment methods to get a better overall deal. Here’s a few things to review each year.  

• Level of cover: Check you’re not paying for what you don’t need.  

• Any new contenders? New insurers and products enter the market each year, many attracting customers with competitive rates. Scope ‘em out!  

• Payment method: Some insurers offer a discount for paying by direct debit, or for paying annually or even quarterly – stuff like that makes a difference over the long term.  

• Policy options: Does your insurer offer any bundles or other options that could save you money? Combining car, home, contents or other insurance policies to one provider could result in a larger discount across policies. 

Then call your insurers. Come prepared. Ask questions. Be clear you’re willing to move. 

Money conversations with people you love are the hardest, because relationships are on the line so there’s more to lose.  

Lead with honesty. Focus on solutions. Be willing to compromise. Walking away on good terms is often the real win. 

Here’s four golden rules.  

• Focus on solutions, not problems. Channel your inner collaborator and pop on your problem-solving hat. Find some shared goals and understand what everyone wants or needs from this deal.  

• Be willing to compromise. With relationships at stake, it’s important to find the middle ground – everyone needs to give a little here.  

• Be honest. Explain what you need from this negotiation. Transparency builds trust.  

• Keep your cool. If tensions run high, hit pause and step away for a bit to give each other some space, then come back to it with a clear head.  

Negotiation isn’t about being fearless. It’s about being prepared. 

Write yourself a script. Practise out loud. Try different approaches until one fits. And remember: advocating for yourself is not rude, selfish or awkward — it’s necessary. 

You deserve outcomes that reflect your value. Go get them.